I noticed that after writing my letter to Lily and revisiting some of my former blog posts that I’ve typically written entries after someone I loved passed away. So many of my entries focus on the person and his or her legacy and ways to cope with that loved one who has left this earth. Of course two years later, I would write about my beloved dog who passed away a few weeks ago.
Through all the sadness, is also happiness. I haven’t written anything in 2 years because the truth is, I fell in love. I know, cheesy right? But truly, those two years of my absence were because I found my happiness in someone even though I wasn’t expecting it. So may of these past blog entries have been written by me in my single, trying to be no strings attached, heartbroken mindset but with time comes change and I found someone that I am entirely crazy about.
Scott and I met not too long after I wrote that entry about my first trip to Europe. Oh, since then I have visited Europe 2 other times. One of those times was with him. Anyway, we met doing a show called Letters To Eve which was about the incarceration of Japanese Americans during World War 2. It didn’t take long for me to realize that that following my heart led to something that was just good for me. You see, I wasn’t in the best place leading up to that. To reiterate, the entries I wrote were a reaction to some of the unfortunate and heartbreaking events that my family and I had undergone with family deaths but also, some events that left me in a broken and traumatic state with relationships and my career. I figured that writing about it would help other people who related to me. However, I didn’t realize that through my writing, I was actually helping myself. And even though I feel some guilt in not having kept up with this project of mine, I feel more at peace knowing that I had undergone a significant experience in my life that led me to finding love.
So, enough of that. Scott, this week we are celebrating 2 years of being together. There is so much to celebrate. You are living out a goal of yours which was to do a show with Center Theater Group AND you have a Netflix show coming out next year. Not only that, you still make time for the people you love and hustle for the next job. The amount of admiration I have for you is an endless list that will take forever to write in a single blog post. Of course, I have to mention your insane talent and your ability to give your entire heart and soul to any role you portray on stage and on screen. You have a rare gift of making people feel something and you are able to do that because of your courage and your dedication to telling stories. You inspire me to care for my art in that way as well. While on the subject of gifts, you also have a rare gift of caring so selflessly for people and understanding those around you. You don’t just go about your life disregarding people’s stories. You genuinely care for them and that heart of yours is so contagious and inspirational. I wish more people saw the world and cared for the world the way you do.
As someone who has taken ownership of her own independence and fire, you have helped break my walls down. But you were able to do that without compromising the woman that I am. Instead, you were there to just love me for everything that I am.
Remember a while ago when I opened up to you about an event that left me broken in pieces and ashamed of who I was and you told me that you wanted to make me so happy to the point where I would forget about it? I haven’t looked back because you loving me truly has made those scars heal. And I didn’t know that it was possible to find a love like that until I met you. Happy 2 year anniversary, stud. Thank you for choosing me. I lava you.
-Doc/TAH/Chicken Nugget/Andrea
Dark and Dawn 